Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Want I want for my birthday.....and a funny

This is what I want for my birthday......

I want to be sitting in this beautiful villa......
Overlooking these beautiful mountains and water......
While laying in this beautiful bed......
While getting one of these.....
and drinking one of these....

Yep....this is what I decided I wanted for my birthday....I guess I need to get a passport.....especially if I will be going to Bora Bora for my birthday....Do you think it's possible to get a passport in two days.....Do you think they will have rooms available....Hmmmm...do you think hubby will let me go.....

Wishful thinking....I know......Hey a girls gotta dream..... :)

And a little change of subject....I got this email that made me laugh till I cried....Enjoy it... I know I did!

Letter to Proctor & Gamble
This is an actual letter from an Austin , TX woman, which she sent to
American company, Proctor and Gamble, regarding their feminine products.
She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007
editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Proctor and Gamble:

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and
I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or
Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa
dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in
tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary
Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how
crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and
secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I'm guessing you
haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I
can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a
few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into
what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.'
Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen
quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's
monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the
bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's
a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the
reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach
inside my
body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there,
printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny
middle-manager brain really think happiness -- actual smiling, laughing
happiness, is possible during a menstrual period?

Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did
it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will
never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself
up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't
march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a
sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a
moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer', or
'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong'?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,
there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my
maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your
Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending
bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

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